Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Turning 50 - anxiety

For all the

"...you are in the prime of life..."

"...oh you wait and see, I blossomed when I hit 50..."

"...you still have time to...."

"...here's a list of people who didn't hit their stride until after 50..."

"...you look good for your age..."

I wish I could get just one

"I hear you."


Why can't we seem to say that aging in America is hard? That it comes will all kinds of anxiety?

Anxiety about not knowing how you will survive.  I've already googled the question of how soon I can get myself on waiting lists for elderly housing because I know the waiting lists are long.

Anxiety about suffering alone at the end. I understand how people die alone and are not discovered until something starts to stink.  How many days of not posting on FB does it take before someone calls for a wellness check?

Anxiety about being seen as no longer valuable. How many times has it already been assumed that I don't know certain things because of my age? As though my brain shut off at 30.  

Anxiety about who to ask for help when the body can no longer do.


For every, "Oh, stop worrying so much..."

I'd like just one, "Yes. It's hard."

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